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Forum: VOW Roleplaying
Thread: Ceci n'est pas un E-Fed
Post by: Beasty(348067)
2008-03-03 10:03:59
The fans are recovering from the upteenth-e-fed-commercial-induced coma, when they're torn
from their unnatural slumber by the opening lines of the cute little diddy called "Would you love a monsterman?"
The bewildered fans look at eachother questioningly. (---- blatent awkward phrasing to have an excuse to use "questioningly" in a sentence) They don't recall anyone useing that theme song, plus, guys in monster masks ... that's sooooooo 2006.
The random LAW standing in the ring (Ole Gregg or something) looks about wearily, worried about who his opponent might be.
Suddenly, a red eyed rat appears on the Titantron, it's sitting on top of a rather moldy cabbage, that's resting on a massively stale plate of lentils. The rat snarls like a grizly bear trying to make point about global warming, then it starts eating a bottle of wodka (yes, eating ... as in glass, screw cap and cheap liquor).
Some of the older fans clue in and quietly shudder, VOW staff members (all curiously called 'Frank') run screaming from the building, call up their wives to say their last goodbyes or update their will.
Spotlights illuminate someone on top of the Titantron. This someone appears to be sporting the largest beard known to mankind (the totality of all humans, not Mick Foley).
In a voice that most resembles the death gurgle of a Soviet-era Lada trying to make it up a mild hill with only a slight tailwind, amplified through a Manowar-style wall of speakers, the figure screams, "Beasty be baaaa-haaaaaack." And he hurls himself off the Titantron. A stagehand comes running to the edge of the Titantron, frantically waving about the end of a bungee rope.
The Armenian Beast slams into the ring. the force of the impact sends the referee flying over the ropes onto the anouncers table. Ole Gregg had the prescence of mind to hang on to the ropes.
Ole Gregg cautiously stalks up to the motionless heap of hair. He flips the irradiated imbecile onto his back and places his foot on (or rather into) the beard. The back-up referee does the three-count. Gregg, retrives his foot to celebrate his easiest victory yet, only to discover his boot has gone missing. He pulls appart the beard in search of the elusive footware. But as he does so, 42 bats fly out of the beard, followed by a dozen rats, countless spiders, centipedes and cockroaches, an epileptic goat, Joe Bow's snake, the worlds only pygmee basketball team, an irate yak, Michael Palin and a BBC camera crew.
The bats seek out all the blondes in the audience and nest in their hair. The rats attack anything remotely edible (which, as far as they're concerned, includes human flesh). The spiders put on a rather awfull production of 'cats' and Michael Palin attempts to interview the Yak. In the mids of this pandemonium, Beasty gets up, licks the nearest elbow (other then his own), runs about the ring 6 times whilest flailing about his arms and singing 'Beasty be little teapot' and storms off, through the crowd, with all the critters in hot pursuit.

All this to let you know ... Beasty's back and he's thirsty for vengeance ... and cheap wodka

... mostly for wodka, really.
Post by: Dyna Mike Duncan(127082)
2008-03-03 11:09:07
Mike, wondering what all the commotion is about (and not speaking German, so with no clue what this topic is all about anyway) wanders out. He sees a whole menagerie of strange critters disappearing through the crowd and a perplexed looking stagehand with a length of rope in his hand scratching his head.

A strangely familiar odour of cheap wodka, stale lentils and cabbage is in the air, not to mention strands of a hair-like substance fluttering amongst the air currents caused by those at ringside gasping to catch their breath.

Seeing nothing of interest, apart from a minor individual by the name of Gregg trying to celebrate a cheap win, Mike turns on his heels to leave. Unfortunately, his foot is on a moldy cabbage leaf and he slips over, falling flat on his face on the stage.

'Whoops-a-daisy' is the rather macho expression that slips from his lips as his nose crunches against the floor 'Damn, Beaty's back!'
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-03-03 20:16:11
Ceci n'est pas de SPAM! ;)
Post by: Captain Stupendous(38517)
2008-03-03 23:18:06
Somewhere backstage, Captain Stupendous lets out a fart when he thinks no one is looking.
Post by: payney(348054)
2008-03-04 06:19:59
Ole Gregg looks up startled and sees a green mist in the arena, excited to find out what it is he runs out to the back stage. Not noticing that he still has his foot in beasties beard he gets bungeed back in the ring, as hes pinged back towards the ring his skirt flys up and the whole crowd embarrassingly see his downstairs mixup.
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-03-05 03:31:26
I'm oooold greeeeeg! ever drunk baileys from a shoe?!?

Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-03-06 17:59:26
i made people drink beer from shoes though :)
i've baptised many people allready. And none of them knows what I had to go through when i was younger ;)
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