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Post by: jddegraff(43958) 2005-01-25 07:59:52 |
i was walking down the SOUTHSIDE on day, when i bumped into my EX. we talked for a while about her BUMHOLE, then we went for a bite to eat. she had CLAMS, and i had some OPACUS MORTU. at dinner, she told me how sshe had replaced me with a PHILLDODILDO and somtimes an EMPIRE OWNED BY CHIQUI. i told her she was a MIGHTYMOOSE, and smacked the SIMSTAR outta her. |
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Post by: Opacus Mortu(61923) 2005-01-25 09:38:45 |
rofl |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-01-25 15:33:03 |
LOOOOOL |
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Post by: jddegraff(43958) 2005-01-26 05:26:56 |
i stormed out of the restaurant, and jumped into my KIA. I was late for my GREY SOCIETY meeting, and wanted to stop by the travel agent and plan my TRIP FONTAINE to the FROZEN WASTES of THE EMPIRE OF THE HAND. |
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Post by: jddegraff(43958) 2005-01-26 05:36:54 |
this is what my mind does without hockey, folks! |
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Post by: Opacus Mortu(61923) 2005-01-26 06:00:01 |
sent...idk how many ppl tell u this....but u need somethign to take up ur time....a hobby or suttin...ur starting to scare me...... |
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Post by: Infamous_Infants(23) 2005-01-26 06:12:24 |
LOL……Sent. next time you go at warp speed or lightspeed or make a hyperjump
TURN ON THE CABINE PRESSURE It’s dangerous to go through deep space without getting any air to the brain ;) |
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Post by: Opacus Mortu(61923) 2005-01-26 06:51:45 |
that could explain a lil bit about sents personality
:-D just kidding sent ~OPA~ |
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Post by: jddegraff(43958) 2005-01-26 09:05:55 |
as i MADO a left on VALLHALLA street with my GOOSTER tires squealing, i saw flashing lights behind me. It was the ROUGE SQUADRON police. They pulled me over and told me I was speeding. then he asked if i had been drinking and i said of course! but it was only a SHOTAAG of RAGINENERGY. 30 minutes later and some tests, he issued me a DWP. as i left the jail, THE PLACE TO BE, a hour later after making bail, I shook my SILVER FIST at them after my buddy AL picked me up. |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-01-26 22:54:57 |
PHILLDODILLDO jumps into his TAI fighter. Heading to the LOS HOBOS colony. Upon arrival he sees strange creatures called THE BEARDED CLAMS. As i walked around i got called a BUMHOLE by some guy in front of a bar named UTOPIA. After smacking him around with a THRULL, I decided to go to the colonies DEALER CONFEDERATE, and buy some STIFFIES. After getting a great deal there from CHRONIC THE HEMPHOG, I got back to my TAI fighter and headed to the home planet of KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G, and picked up some frosty pink cupcakes. All that flying sure got my hands NUMB. Finnally reaching home again I started to WHISPER a song from a band called TRIP FONTAINE, by this time i was really feeling like ILK. ummm ill stop there.. rofl. |
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Post by: jddegraff(43958) 2005-01-26 23:23:19 |
omg..... phil has a warped mind! how come no one told me???? |
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Post by: Opacus Mortu(61923) 2005-01-28 06:38:01 |
i dont believe someone else actually added to teh story....sigh.... |
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Post by: Opacus Mortu(61923) 2005-01-28 06:38:01 |
i dont believe someone else actually added to teh story....sigh.... |
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-03-03 02:44:46 |
I was sitting on the barstool watching that cheesy old B gladiator movie SPARTAPUS with my good buddy PHILLDODILLDO, who just happened to be the most EXILIM president our pervert association ever had.
Anyways, there we were drinking beer and watching our movie when some moron started dancing on the table while singing "Like a Virgin". I asked Phill "Who is that goober? " He looked behind him. "Oh, that's SENTIRES. He's THE ANNOINTED-KISIMUL CASTLE GUARD but he thinks he's a great SHADOW KNIGHT. Into this THRULL came the town fool TRIP FONTAINE who was running around in circles yelling I'm a GORGON. Yeah!!!! I told him to shut up. The Galactic News was on. The DEALER CONFEDERATE had just reported that RENEGADE24, the notorious space prankster, had just shot 1 million water balloons into the SIMSTAR and extinguished it. The piccasso looking alien RHAZHAN started screaming, he lived near the star, and ran into THE BILGE. We heard him yell OPACUS MORTU just before he shot himself in the whatever that body part was he shot himself in. My LITTLE SISTER was oblivious to this whole ordeal. She looked right at the bartender and ordered a platter of BUCKEYSMONKEYS and BEARDED CLAMS topped with delicious TARRE sauce. That, Ladies and gentlemen, was my day. |
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Post by: Claymore(37218) 2005-03-03 03:02:36 |
We're all going to need some serious therapy if we can ever tear ourselves away from these bloody computers. ROFLMAO. Well done all! |
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Post by: daniel smith(3538) 2005-03-03 09:34:07 |
sum1 needs to chuck a thug in there story |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-03-03 21:49:07 |
ok..tugs just remember you asked for it... coming soon: thug luv live and uncensored
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-03-03 21:57:33 |
Did we actually have a request for a Thug Story. I think I can do that.I'm sure others can too. I'm waiting to see Phills story. |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-03-03 22:23:22 |
when i go home ill do it promise |
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-03-03 22:37:09 |
(This story is purely for amusement and is taken, mostly in order, from the most recent list of the top 20. I meant no harm to anyone) THUG LUV and SPARTAPUS were the very best of friends. They were strolling through park one fine day when THUG stepped in the middle of a puddle. Looking up he was disgusted to find the puddle was left by a giant PHILLDODILLDO Beast that was wandering the park. Furious and outraged at the smell of his favorite shoes THUG reached to his side, drew his EXILIMinator and disintigrated the giant PHILLDODILLDO. THUG and SPARTAPUS dances happily around the ashes untill they saw the outraged look on the face of groundskeeper GORGON. "Boys", He spat I should Whip the THRULL out of you for killing that sweet and innocent PHILLDODILLDO beast. THUG and SPARTAPUS were scared of the creepy groundskeeper and took off runing with groundskeeper GORGON hot on their heels. Luckily they reached their pink "LITTLE SISTER" brand bicycles with pink and blue banana seats and eluded the groundskeeper. Out of breath the two boys stopped at the park ampitheatre and looked up at the sign. It read "Come see a performance by DEALER CONFEDERATE railroad, the best crappy country and western band this side of reality". THUG clapped his hands excitedly. "OOH!!! I love them!!! We should go see them SPART.!!!" SPARTAPUS shook his head. "No way. I would rather see THE ANNOINTED. They are the crappy heavy metal band playing in the other park." This angered THUG and he pulled out his WHISPER whip and began beating the tar out of SPARTAPUS. The brave and noble SHADOW KNIGHT, park police officer, rode up on his noble steed (a motor scooter) and saw what THUG was doing. He arrested the bad boy and had an ambulance take the wounded and crying SPARTAPUS to TRIP FONTAINE memorial hospital. SHADOW KNIGHT took THUG to the fairgrounds and handcuffed him to the SIMSTAR ride. "Now you wait here until I get some help you evil little boy." All alone THUG wished he was back home on planet RHAZAN and that he had never whipped the tar out of his best friend. Homesick he started crying when he saw a SHADOW KNIGHT leading a contingent of the KISIMUL CASTLE GUARD (the amusement park security force) to take him away. THUG began to notice how unproffesional this guard contingent was when a gaurdsman named DALVIAN broke ranks and began juggling three monkeys while singing "If I were a rich man". "Stop singing!!!" yelled a member of the park's toughest gang, "The BEARDED CLAMS." TARRE, obviously their leader because he was the ugliest, killed all three of DALVIAN's monkeys and began to choke him. He continued to sing "If I were a rich man", though it was a bit muffled now. THUG took this opportunity to run and hide in the zoo. Lost and scared he asked for advice from a talking hippo named THE BILGE. "Please mr. Hippo. I need help. I whipped my best friend half to death and now the security is trying to get me." He began crying. "SHHHH!!" Said THE BILGE in a deep and resonant hippo voice."The only one who can help you now is the great wizard SCHMITTS......" (To Be Continued) By anyone who wants to join in. |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-03-05 02:20:06 |
OK here goes nothing.. (A tribute to thug)
THUG LUV owner of a DEALER CONFEDERATE in THE REPUBLIC was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary LITTLE SISTER for some mathematical help. He called her into his EXILIM and said, "You graduated from THE BILGE and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? LITTLE SISTER thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings." |
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-03-07 07:27:49 |
(Taken in order from the latest list position 1-20)
PHILLDILLDO stepped into the salloon. His right hand dropped immidiately to the ivory handled GORGON at his side. Across the dank and smoky room was his mortal enemy, the best gunslinger this side of the Nueces river. SHADOW KNIGHT looked square at him and tipped his hat. His henchman, WHISPER, a no account card shark, stood at his side. PHILLDODILLDO spat on the floor. "They say you are EXILIM with that there six iron. They say you used it when you killed my best girl LITTLE SISTER and my dog THRULL. You ever seen the TRIP FONTAINE double pistol smackdown trick? Because you're about to boy." SHADOW KNIGHT stood real slow like, a toothpick stuck from his mouth. "PHILLDODILLDO, you aint nothin but what them university boys call an OPACUS MORTU snake in the grass". He rubbed his knuckles allong his BEARDED CLAMS vest. PHILLDODILLDO reached for his pistol. SHADOW KNIGHT'S days as a RHAZAN, a rogue, were over. SHADOW KNIGHT stumbled back as the first shot hit him right in the COOMBSER. He fired a shot of his own before he fell but his shot fell ILK. WHISPER, scared for his life, began firing wildly. The piano player, a simpleton named SPED, was hit three times and fell to the floor. PHILLDODILLDO dropped to one knee and shot WHISPER twice in his INCUBI. The card shark stumbled and fell dead on the floor of the famous KISIMUL CASTLE GAURD salloon, ruining the hand made AAAAAHHHHH carpet. As the smoke cleared the town marshall, ANASAZI, entered the room and looked around. "Well PHILLDODILLDO", he said, "you done BLAXED this place all to kingdom come." Deputy EARTH leveled his shotgun at PHILLDODILLDO and he surrendered. He was given a fair trial and hanged the following morning. |
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-04-07 02:24:00 |
Castle TRIP FONTAINE stood atop the highest peak in the realm. It had allways served as a bastion of civilization but the castle was without a king. Yet there was hope. Legend spoke of a warrior who would pull the PHILLDODILLDO from the crevice in the stone. This warrior would be king.
KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G, a young barbarian, stepped through the castle gates and looked upon the shiny PHILLDODILLDO stuck in the stone. The sorceress LITTLE SISTER appeared beside him. "You could be the one" She whispered. "You could be THE ANOINTED". KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G walked over to the hall of THE KISIMUL CASTLE GAURD, the gaurdians of castle TRIP FONTAINE and of the PHILLDODILLDO. Some would wonder why they were not gaurding Kisimul Castle instead but that is a different story. He threw himself at the PHILLDODILLDO, pulling and yanking at it until he was completely BLUEBEARed and gasping for breath on the ground. BIGBROTHA, a big bald warrior from the wasteland, looked down on the would be king. "COMMANDER POTATER told me I was to pick you up and toss you off cliff. Make you smash on ground. That not good. BIGBROTHA think you strong inside. BIGBROTHA think you be king. You must go to temple of big GARU in the swamp." KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G had descended into the valley of the SOFA KING in search of the temple. He had battled BLACK DEVIL. He had thrown the demon THUG LUV into the pit of despair. He had even defeated the ghost of emperor WHISPER by telling him the truth; he had been a mere chamber made. All ego the ghost disappeared in a puff of smoke. Finally he found father DRAGON AF of the temple GARU. He said "Father, I pulled on the PHILLDODILLDO with all the strength of a mighty GORGON but it would not budge. What should I do?" The father replied "You must seek the POWER WITHIN". Shaking his head at the cryptic answer to his problem KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G traveled back to the castle TRIP FONTAINE. RENEGADE24 had beat him to the PHILLDODILLDO but that could not stop our hero. He fought RENEGADE24 over the PHILLDODILLDO for two weeks straight. Winning the battle he threw him over the cliff, where he landed in a big pile of NWO. KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G thought of what he had learned from his journey. Then he though of the words "THE POWER WITHIN" and knew what he must do. He spit into his hand KETIH, the little magic leprecahn he kept in his belly. KETIH cast a spell and the PHILLDODILLDO rose into the air. Grasping the PHILLDODILLDO with pride KAI OF THE BRUNNEN G was king. |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-04-07 16:40:52 |
how dare u dalvian.. loooool |
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Post by: Dalvian(38356) 2005-04-07 18:35:27 |
Hey...Dalvian's just want to have fun.
It's part of my charm. |
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Post by: WOSHUSHI(39693) 2005-09-24 06:31:27 |
And the Great and the Mighty did clash. The forcens of the DEALER CONFEDERATE fell upon the NOTORIOUS of the galaxy, but in turn were slain when their BEARDED CLAMS were Impailed by mighty PHILLDOS and the galaxt was consumed by fire and war until all fell and the surviving domaine was left to SCRAPS |
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Post by: SkydiveMike(86286) 2005-09-24 06:55:28 |
lol - someone else bored without hockey - i feel yer pain |
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Post by: LosHobos(128600) 2005-09-24 08:41:03 |
Strapped on my Lollerblades for that.
Awesome job y'all. Thanks for the love, phil. |
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Post by: philldodilldo(22259) 2005-09-24 09:05:54 |
what i do ?
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