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Forum: SC General
Thread: An interview with Dealer Confederate.
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-11-24 14:34:17
Wellcome to SC News..where we distort and you decide. Today we interview an integral member of Fed LOL to get his opinion on the current debate between two of SC's most prominent FEDs.

Dalvian: Wellcome Dealer. It's allways good to have a fan on the show. First off what is like to work for Exilim? What is your opinion of him?

Dealer Confederate(9936) Horrible Appalling Working-class Tat

Dalvian: That seems like a pretty harsh way to talk about your lord and emperor. It seems like you have two options. you can choose a) and suffer his abuse or b) admit that Phill is your true lord and master.

Dealer Confederate(9936) i choose a) :-(

Dalvian: So what is LOL's exact problem with B.M.F., my own FED? I've heard that you guys are jealous that we are so popular with the ladies.

Dealer Confederate(9936) lol, i can't accuse you personally, but a certain fed is a little notorious (cunning use of words) for that exact crime

Dalvian: FED LOL says they have more skill than B.M.F. but isn't it true that you guys have no idea what you are doing, and that when you do actually win it is just a coincidence?

Dealer Confederate(9936) actually, yes, utter coincidence.... bugger :)

Dalvian: I guess you guys will have to live with the fact that you guys have no skill.

Dealer Confederate(9936) but... y'know, we can dream..... of fluffy fields and leaping marmosets imbued with a passion for nothing but joy... and fritters... apple fritters

Dalvian: What do apple fritters have to do with anything?

Dealer Confederate(9936) insanely spiced jabanero apple fritters!!!!!!

Dalvian: Now that we are on the subject I heard butter is what makes those things so tasty.

Dealer Confederate(9936) actually, it is butter, if you substitute the word "is" for "is almost certainly... in fact definitely... not"

Dalvian: But I read a statement issued by you that said butter was the best ingrediant in everything.

Dealer Confederate(9936) actually, if you read that again, there's no admission at all

Dalvian: Well, I think you are lying sir, but back to the fed debate. I heard that you once said we are all very skilled players. In a way does that make your fed skilled players as well?

Dealer Confederate(9936) accusing someone else of doing something has never (and probably will never) qualify as an admittance of doing it yourself. Otherwise prosecutors would be incarcerated on a daily basis.

Dalvian: Very well said Dealer. So, you are saying that Fed B.M.F. is far supperior to Fed LOL in every way?

Dealer Confederate(9936) yes... yes yes yes yes yes

Dalvian: That's very smart of you Dealer. Sometimes it seems like you don't like being on the winning team. What is your responce to that?

Dealer Confederate(9936) well, if you're not accusing me, then you can't be annoyed if i preach against it... which i wasn't anyway.... damnit this has gotten silly

Dalvian: I'm starting to like you Dealer. There is one thing you can help me with. I don't understand why you guys dress Exilim in Spandex and throw live gerbils at him.

Dealer Confederate(9936) all in all, we'll use whatever tactics we like, because thats all anyone else has ever done

Dalvian: Well I suppose so, but you guys do have some really strange tactics.

Dealer Confederate(9936) and if i have to sleep with several disabled badgers to achieve victory.... well, you can certainly be my mother

Dalvian: If that's what you have to do..and I guess I could be your mother. I did have that one painfull day in the restroom. You know, this interview is allmost as strange as your campaign when you ran for president of SC. Didn't you do something strange to turtles?

Dealer Confederate(9936) I might add that in my candidacy for President I have been attacked for maiming small defenceless turtles. This is entirely untrue. They were of medium size.

Dalvian: I must say that I thought a lot of your campaign promises were outright lies.

Dealer Confederate(9936) You, sir, have offended me. I challenge thee to a duel.

Dalvian: I'm not going to Duel you. You will probably throw gerbils at me.

Dealer Confederate(9936) I bite my thumb at you sir. And i bite is hard.

Dalvian: You sir are crazy. Don't make me come over there and PHILL SMACK you.

Dealer Confederate(9936) ow

Dalvian: I haven't even touched you yet. Now back to your campaign promises. You said Yes you would eliminate taxes, and Yes, you would open up the Federal butter vaults to public use. You can't expect us to believe that.

Dealer Confederate(9936) hold on, switch that, make the first yes for the second one, and the second yes for the first. then it all makes toooooooootal sense

Dalvian: That still a bunch of bold voice lies. I don't think your supporters even voted for you.

Dealer Confederate(9936) rofl Dal... actually they did... then they all got executed :D

Dalvian: I remember that. I was on the firing squad. Your behavior after that got even stranger, like when you broke into PHILLDODILLDO's special movie studio. What was it you said to the "actors"?

Dealer Confederate(9936) I have a suggestion. Instead of everyone moaning, lets all have a friendly game of backgammon.

Dalvian: Since then you have come To SC and joined with FED LOL. What kind of Dealer Ideas will teach them?

Dealer Confederate(9936) ooo i like thuggies suggestion (lets bet against our own fed, build a nice little ladder, and embezzle the money in CUBA!!!!!)

Dalvian: I hear you have even been preaching your unorthodox ideas to your Federation.

Dealer Confederate(9936) I, on the other hand, am preaching against various things. Like fridge magnets that don't stay on, and French people with small legs

Dalvian: So basically, your ideas are the only decent ones in the entire LOL Fed.

Dealer Confederate(9936) arrrrrrrgh... split my infinitive :-(

Dalvian: I heard your last girlfriend said you showed as much skill at SC as you did with her.

Dealer Confederate(9936) (and those were her exact words)

Dalvian: I like how you are cooperating during this interview. Very noble of you. I might even let you dedicate my next PHILLDODILLDO statue. Do you have any idea what you would say?

Dealer Confederate(9936)

"We'd like to dedicate this statue to the greats of SC.... Rasputin The Pickle... James The Vulgar Marmot (who claims to be making a comeback next round)... and last but not least, Terrence The Large And Slightly Misguided Table Leg."

Dalvian: Dealer, none of those people have ever played. Are you going insane over there?

Dealer Confederate(9936) hot down on meeee, me me me

Dalvian: Um, Dealer, I think it's time for us to conclude this interview so you can go take your meds.

Dealer Confederate(9936) right... im out... may the man with the strongest handbag win.

Dalvian: Well, you heard all the truths from Dealer. Tune in to next weeks show when we interview the designer of the new PHILLDODILLDO toy and ask why the head comes off so easily.
Post by: SkydiveMike(86286)
2005-11-24 14:52:03
OMFG, Dal -- brilliant, just brilliant :-)
Post by: sparkles(18049)
2005-11-24 14:56:41
Thats a very special tear i just shed. lol
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-11-24 15:26:18
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-11-24 23:46:40
looool, and i MEAN looool
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-11-24 23:46:56
actually i mean LOOOOOOOL!
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-11-25 05:29:35
dalvian, u are one of the reasons so many stick around. this is a perfect example. the entertainment value of reading ur genious is more then enough to keep most of us around. thanks dude.
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-11-25 22:35:47
I second that
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-11-25 23:20:40
They like me. They really like me.
*Covers himself in butter and slides down the aisles of his own intergalactic mini mart*
Post by: mael(88584)
2005-11-26 04:27:19
Impressive as always Dal.
And, I must add..I had no idea Dealer was so very verbose. He seems almost interesting in this presentation. (jk DC;))
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-11-26 08:32:12
I think he was writing his own lines for his interview. It's a good thing I get to come up with the questions.
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-11-27 01:19:14
Yup lol, luckily i was pretty drunk at the time
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