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Forum: SC General
Thread: From: Space Conquest (Governors) Board Of Review Environmental Department(BORED)
Post by: jddegraff(43958)
2005-11-17 03:23:38
From: Space Conquest (Governors) Board Of Review Environmental Department(BORED)

To: All Empires



Subject: Control of Butter.



It has come to the attention of the office of Board Of Review Environmental Department (referred to hereafter as BORED)that the greatest threat to the chat board is the recent proliferation of the creature "Butter". If its breeding remains unchecked, it is BORED's conclusion that the populated space of the chat board and the very residences of nearby empires will become over run with butter. In recent high level meetings at the Galactic level, the governors have voted unanimously to take action against butter.



The office of BORED set for the following terms, definitions and identifications taken from local areas, common use and slang:

1) Definition: Butter: For the purposes of the SC Food and Drug Act of round 12 (Thirty-fourth Statutes at Large, page 768) “butter” shall be understood to mean the food product usually known as butter, and which is made exclusively from milk or cream, or both, with or without common salt, and with or without additional coloring matter, and containing not less than 80 per centum by weight of milk fat, all tolerances having been allowed for.

2) Slang: dairy products, margarine, shortening, creaming method, ghee, lard, schmaltz, fleischbutter.

3) Uses: Butter has been used as a food, a cosmetic, and a medicine. The most discerning to BORED is its use recently as a lubricant.

4) History: Butter is know to grow and reproduce naturally, however, It is BORED’s belief that genetically altered butter is being developed in labatories supported and funded by a federation B.M.F, and funded by the empire Dalvian.

5) Identification: Butter appears naturally in 1 or ˝ cup sticks, or in tubs. It is thought that the smaller ones or “pats” (sometimes seen on squares of cardboard) were butter young. That belief has now been debunked and the smaller “pats “of butter have been proven to be a similar species of butter with stunted growth, or a “Butter Midget”


Butter harvest Rules:


1. Any person with a valid Space Conquest hunting license may harvest Butter.



2. Taking of butter with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of noob bait is prohibited.



3. Killing of butter with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead butter to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.



4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest butter from a snow machine, star destroyer, helicopter, or aircraft.



5. It shall be unlawful to shout "Dominion", "DreamMaster", “noob” or "hillbilly" for the purpose of trapping butter.



6. It shall be unlawful to hunt butter within 100 yards of page 3.



7. It shall be unlawful to use dillys, torpedoes, gay bars, gerbils, or Germans to attract butters.



8. It shall be unlawful to hunt butters within 200 yards of health spas, gay bars or anyone in a fed named “LOL”.



9. If butter is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.



10. Stuffed or mounted butters must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.



11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a sheep for the purpose of hunting butters.

Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-11-17 03:59:38
12. Butter shall not be used for the furthering of political means.

13. Thou shalt not butter upon the sabbath.

14. Thou shalt not exclaim "I can't believe it's not butter" if it is, in fact, butter.

15. The phrase "buttering up" will not be used for sexual innuendo. Although it would probably be funny.

16. Those making lists of things not to be done with butter shall be smeared in butter, hung upside down, and slowly submerged into a boiling pit of lard, before being repeatedly told they can't believe its not butter under hypnosis until all images or thoughts of butter have been purged from their sick sick minds.
Post by: mael(88584)
2005-11-17 04:08:33
HAHAHAHAHA
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-11-17 04:44:52
16. Those making lists of things not to be done with butter shall be smeared in butter, hung upside down, and slowly submerged into a boiling pit of lard, before being repeatedly told they can't believe its not butter under hypnosis until all images or thoughts of butter have been purged from their sick sick minds.
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That really excited me though I don't think you have a chance of purging butter, or thoughts of butter, from my sick sick mind.
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17. You shall not take the name of butter in vain.
18. Creating false butter to flood the interstellar butter market and lower the price of butter is hereby forbidden.
19. Feeding butter to gerbils is likewise forbidden.
20. Using the phrase "Lol" and butter in the same sentance will not be done.
21. Do not run while holding butter. Trust me on this one.
22. Do not use Dalvian's butter on the fed slip and slide.
23. Do not use Dalvian's butter to tortue noobs held in the noob cages.
24. Do not butter gerbils and then put them in tubes.
25. Do not butter your shoes.
26. Do not butter my shoes.
27. Phill's statue must be buttered every hour on the hour.
Post by: golchasr(44184)
2005-11-17 07:02:23
I'm becoming concerned with Dalvian's obcession with butter. I can't help but think that it is Phil's butt being butter for easier PENETRATION, which would explain their fed name last round :-)
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-11-17 07:24:22
This round it's my turn in the barrell. I get all the butter I want.
Post by: SkydiveMike(86286)
2005-11-17 09:10:14
lol -- turn in the barrel
Post by: jddegraff(43958)
2005-11-17 11:41:53
Sorry dalv, the galactic economic system cannot support you request for an unlimited butter supply due to the high cost(and current butter shortage), but promises the payment 300,000,000,000,000.00 dollars (U.S)instead. They said it would be cheaper for them this way.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-11-17 20:41:08
:O WTF
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