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Forum: SC General
Thread: The Dalvian Vs. Phill insanity contest
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-10 20:35:31
Dalvian--The early years
1. When I was seven I sat on an anthill and ten minutes realized where the all the burning pain in my flesh was coming from. Five minutes later I decided to stop sitting on the anthill.

2. As a young boy I insisted that I was reincarnated and repeatedly tried to tell my parents how my last days in my former life were spent in a hospital bed with many tubes plugged into me. I still have vivid memories of this.

3. I once made an entire GI JOE/Star Wars City in my back yard and developed and entire civiliazation for it complete with social groups, an economy, and a legal system.

4. When I lived in The northern Hills of Alabama I was positive that all my hillbilly neighbors were out to get me. I set audible alarms and booby traps throughout our 6 acres of property and most nights patrolled in hopes of capturing a hillbilly invader.

5. Also in Alabama I spent most of my time wandering the woods with my pack of 5 small dogs. The most viscious was my best friend gracy..a terrier.

6. For a research paper in school, as a visual aid, I excecuted a figure of Lando Calrisean. I used a poppsicle gallows my brother had made. His hands were tied behind his back and he had a little black hood over his head. The excecutioner was a Gamorean Gaurd.

Dalvian..The adult years.
7. I have worked the night shift at a gas station for four years..and like it.

8. At work I try to use Jedi Mind Powers to control my customers.

9. I still play with toy soldiers that I keep in a box in my closet.

10. I once spent a couple of days holed up in a closet because I thought the entire world was out to get me.

11. If I see people talking our laughing they are talking or laughing about me.

12. I hit the dirt when I hear any loud noise.

13. At work part of new employees instructions are not to sneak up behind me.

14. I chase people who drive off on me..on foot.

15. I like to rewrite history becuase I don't think the one we have was done correctly.

16. I would love to publish my conspiracy theories but I know that "they" are watching me.

17. In restaraunts I have to sit with my back to a wall.

18. I have journals full of civilizations and other races that I have created in great detail. They seem more real to me than the one they live in.

19. I once woke up screaming " I can't feel my feet"

20. My girlfriend wakes me up by poking me with a broom from a safe distance.

21. I have no doubt that I will be assassinated at the age of 42 because of the new political movement that I will head after the revolution.

22. I've had customers turn around and leave because I was having a conversation with myself.

23. I have to lock my door several times before I leave to make sure my home is secure.

24. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a wizard.

25. I'm having an insanity contest with someone who calls himself Philldodilldo.
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-09-10 22:01:34
Lol Dalvian wins, by a mile, and phil hasn't even posted yet looool
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-10 23:05:41
dal, thats not how this works... i said i and #1 that was the contest. It would take me 1 year to post all the insane things ive done... let alone switch from each personality i carry within just to remember each one.

So, i start with what comes to mind..

1. At the age of 5 I cut my brothers right hand index and pinky fingers off with a brick. All because he tried to take my pudding.

2. I have a permanent scar on my forehead due to smashing a plastic comb into my head in efforts to make my hair longer (age 6)

3. To be continued as i can reach my family to remind me of all ive done. (illegal acts will be left out due to risk of inprisonment)
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-10 23:43:01
That reminds me.
26. When I was 5 I chopped off the end of my brother's pinky finger with a bathroom door and blamed it on the wind.
27. When my sister was brought home I swore she was a kissing ghost because of that sucking noise baby things.
28. When I was 18 I sliced up my hand with a pocket knife to prove to a guy that I was not scared of pain.
29. when I was 19 I carved my name into my left forearm..I don't remember why.


..I didn't know we were including traits from ALL our personalities. Some of mine like to keep their identities secret.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-11 00:34:37
oh self damage ? i will have to open up my photobucket.com account and take pics. i have many self induced scars :) ur gonna loose for sure now my friend... in this case thou that may be a good thing.. and when thinking about it,

U probably win most insane in a normal way

I win as most insane in a purely evil way... but if i post those reasons as to why... i could get in very big trouble...
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-09-11 16:30:07
24. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a wizard.

Lol thats just f*kin hilarious :-)
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-11 19:30:37
*Turns Dealer into a newt*
That will teach you to laugh at my wizard powers.
*Leans on pointed stick of wizardry and smokes on his pipe.*
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-11 19:35:17
I can't say I'm evil. I'm really more of a loveable lunatic that tries to get through life by altering reality a little bit.

As for talking to myself..what's wrong with talking to the best conversationalist I know?
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-12 00:47:16
that much id have to agree with
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-12 06:42:21
30. When I was younger my father made me make a sock puppet because I kept making my hand talk.

31. I once invented my own religion. I told people I worshiped a giant pig named Al and that the flaming chicken Herbert was his messenger. I actually had a couple of converts for a short time.

32. When my girlfriend asks me what I do while she is at work all day I tell that I dance around the house in a monkey suit.

33. I tell people that I keep my kids in a cage. (my chinchillas)

34. I've watched so many M*A*S*H episodes that I smell my food before I eat it just like Hawkeye Pierce does.

35. When a manager of mine told me I needed to trim my beard I shaved my head.

36. For a couple of days in Somalia I felt the urge to give up talking and only communicated in monkey noises.

37. I once walked two miles through a drainage ditch because I wanted to feel like a commando.

38. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a Ninja.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-12 09:06:10
dude, now ur just trying to be like me... i dont need a list.. ive been told by a professional im nuts.. and i am a ninja.. better then that i think im a cat for gods sake,.. wait i am god... oops
Post by: RadicalG(52434)
2005-09-13 05:04:22
37. I once walked two miles through a drainage ditch because I wanted to feel like a commando.

LMAO is that a standard commando mission these days? I thought they were about jumping out of helicoptors and assaulting buildings, and other assorted military larks. Of course, I might be thinking of people that jump out of helicoptors and engage in assaulting buildings, and other assorted military larks, rather than commandos. Commandoes? Commandii.
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-13 07:02:16
I believe in that scenario I was infiltrating some top sectet base or another to kill an imperial Governor. I didn't say I was a commando on Terra in the 20th Century (I did this in the previous century) now did I?

And Phill. I've seen a couple of professionals too. They didn't say I was nuts. One said I was too intelligent and creative to exist in a structured society. The other said I had a problem coping with Stress. I told them both that my only problem was that nobody believed that I was the rightfull heir to the Imperial throne and that I needed the people of Earth to help me overthrow the Usurpur that had taken all power in the known Galaxy.

Both of them responded by putting me on meds...I guess head shrinks don't have a very good sense of humor.
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-13 07:08:03
And for those that are wondering..Though I am a creative person and tend to exagerate I'd say more than 90% of my list is true.

Not that bad really. If all of us wrote a list of our odd behaviors and wierd things we've done..We would all look nuts.

Heck, Phill does not even need a list. I bet he's put Some shrinks kids through med school. And now he's putting their kids through med school.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-13 12:16:35
actually... i doubt that.. any proffesional only would see me once... except for group therapy... in that case the other people there for help were sent to 1 on 1 only cuz they wouldnt talk after hearing the demented things i say... my main problem is seperating real life from my special place.
Post by: Infamous_Infants(23)
2005-09-13 15:47:01
Yeah, that's annoying. Real life always seem to find a way back…
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-13 16:52:50
no kidding.. i only feel warm happy thoughts in my special place... i must design a special box or tube to place myself in so that real life is surpressed and i can stay in my special place
Post by: Dalvian(38356)
2005-09-13 20:40:16
I only feel warm and happy thoughts in your special place too Phill.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-13 20:46:24
oh my god rofl
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-13 20:51:19
u should come live with me dal.. together we could rule the world... rofl
Post by: Infamous_Infants(23)
2005-09-13 23:56:25
Hehe looking forward to the fight, when ”King’s fool for a day” turns up :D
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-14 03:09:25
II, do u even play sc? do u even know how nuts dal and i are... we may end up taking u to a special place and seeing which p-dilly fits best for u... and go up 4 sizes, while dal and i change personalities and talk to walls in the same room. u will never be the same again.
Post by: Infamous_Infants(23)
2005-09-14 04:08:44
Sure I used to pretend that I play SC, but there is no need to do that any more.
– as the ruler of the universe I don’t have to.

Ps. Rubber walls makes me excited.
Post by: philldodilldo(22259)
2005-09-14 15:21:49
ooOOOOoo how bout rubber walls that are padded with down feather quilts to ensure u cannot harm urself ?
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