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Forum: Off Topic
Thread: The "I'm bored give me a laugh" thread...
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-09 19:41:51
On top of a secluded hill, in a massive mansion, there lived a wealthy gentleman, with a taste for fine wines and gourmet cuisine, usually made for him by his dedicated butler, Mr Pootle.

One evening after a long day working in the office and having to settle for warmed over leftovers for dinner the owner of the mansion decided he would have another bath to relax at the end of the day. He asked Pootle to run the bath for him as he got into his dressing gown.

Pootle ran the bath to perfection, testing it with the thermometer, and blancing it just right. The gentleman stepped into the bath, and was washed with comfort.

"Ah fine job Pootle my man. Now would you be so kind as to fetch me a fine merlot from the wine cellar?

"Of course sir" Pootle replied and turned to walk out of the door. "Will there be anything else me lord?"

The gentleman went to speak, but suddenly let go an ENORMOUS fart. Pootle continued unnaffected, as the gentleman chuckled to himself.

Shortly Pootle returned to the room with a wine glass and a bottle of wine and laid it down, he then handed the gentleman a water bottle.

"Pootle, what on earth have you brought me a water bottle for?" he asked

Pootle replied "Well sir as I left the room you said Wataboutawattabottelpootel?"
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-09 20:37:47
is it normal that i don't get it? :|
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-09 21:52:50
LoL read final line real carefully, and say it out loud... if you still don't get it re-read the sixth line :P
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-10 10:14:52
yeah i got the whole last line is supposed to sound like something from the 6th and that's the punch line... but i still don't get it no matter how i pronounce it lol.
Post by: WrestlerPwnt(329014)
2008-02-10 23:21:45
I don't understand..
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-02-11 08:54:43
lol... i get it :)
i'm the smartest of you all!!! muhahaha

I'm DA FLY!!!
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-11 18:14:09
damn you fly!
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-11 19:08:06
LoL, explanation for you

Wataboutawattabottelpootel = What about a water bottle Pootel? when you say it really fast :)
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-11 20:16:56
yeah i knew that, but the guy never said that.. :|
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-12 16:32:45
LoL he farted in the bath, thats how he said it xD
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-12 17:11:01
Not a joke, just a comedic song now, those of you that are offended by violence or suffer from a nervous disposition should look away now, this song is (12) certified... this piece may alos not be suitable for adults... Ahem....

On top of a hillside,
all covered in sand,
I shot my poor teacher,
with an elastic band.

I shot her with pleasure,
I shot her with pride,
You couldn't have missed her,
she was 40 feet wide!

I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave,
everybody threw flowers,
I threw a grenade.

I looked in the coffin,
she wasn't quite dead,
so I picked up a Bazooka...
And blew off her head!

Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-12 17:20:44
lol ^

(still dont get first one xD.. i knew it was a fart i just cant see how that sounds like a fart, even in water..) :|
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-13 16:15:08
Get some milk a blow some bubbles using a straw, if that fails... draw a bath of water after eating a plate of beans then experiment xD
Post by: legendary wolf(38655)
2008-02-13 20:46:11
but it just doesnt make that sound rofl
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-13 20:59:22
LoLlers, you gotta use some imagination. Although to be honest its a joke better told in person than through text :)
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-14 20:40:54
I'm such a nice guy I finished last in a nice guy competition.
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-02-15 13:34:21
and why milk?
i don't get THAT part :D
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-15 17:08:06
LoL, I've given up tbh xD

Anyone can feel free to share a joke xD
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-16 18:41:27
And now ladies and gentleman, I would like to share with you a classic song from my younger years... a particularly genius piece used for a Cartoon network christmas commercial. It was lost to the never regions of history, but I was able to memorize that song before its final airing, and intend to revive it to its former glory. Its that old classic jingle bells, performed by a Mr Ben Sniperowski. Enjoy!

Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Syvelster laid an egg!
Big dog slurped, foghorn chirped,
snowballs in your bed

Scooby's in the snow, Yogi has a sleigh
Johnny thinks he's really cool, raspberry's all the way!
Muttly had a sling, shaggy got a fright,
Screwball launched an avalanche which started the snow ball fight!

Pending bending weasel mending
Flintstones on the piest
Chicken got hugged, Daffy got clubbed
Top Cat had a feast

Smurfetts falling, jetsons calling
Tom is in the Ice
Olive cheered, Phooey went wierd
but wedgies sure ain't nice!

Merry Christmas! From Cartoon Network!
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-02-17 17:45:24
there you have it...
the end of the world is near... i can feel it :(
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-17 20:04:32
The supervolcano under Yellowstone Park is due to erupt by 20'000 years, so its gonna erupt I reckon. Kill a good portion of the people in America and dump the rest of us into a volcanic winter...

Seriously look it up on Wikipedia...
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-02-19 11:46:39
If i'm bored, can i laugh with the americans then?
Let's blame either Bush or All Quaida. Either way, people will follow you...
Post by: Dyna Mike Duncan(127082)
2008-02-21 12:40:45
Bob Cratchet carries Tiny Tim to bed on March 31st and after reading him a bedtime story, he tucks him in to go to sleep. Bob moves Tim's crutches out of the way and looks at his son lovingly, then sighs as he looks at the crutches once more.

Bob: Tim, dear boy. You know that if you pray really hard, and I mean really, really HARD tonight, then in the morning you will be able to walk again without using these wretched crutches. Goodnight son. Love you.

Bob closes the door to Tim's room as he leaves, but he can hear Tim starting his prayers.

Tim: God bless mother, god bless father. God blss all my brothers and sisters and god bless Mr Scrooge. Please god, I never ask for much, but father says ....

Bob goes down to tell his wife that Tim is saying his prayers.

The following morning, Tim wakes early and for the first time in years tries getting out of bed on his own. Downstairs, his mother and father hear an almighty crash and Bob goes rushing upstairs to find Tiny Tim face down on the wooden floor, his nose burst and crying like a baby.

Tim: But Daddy! I prayed really, really hard! Why can't I walk?

Bob lifts Tiny Tim back onto the bed, shaking his head sadly.

Bob: Ah son. ...... APRIL FOOL!!!!!
Post by: The Sniper(27754)
2008-02-21 19:43:22
ROFLMAO! Thats mint xD
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2008-02-22 13:23:16
Hahaha, i heard that one before :)
But i forgot about the clue :P

i love it!!! :D
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