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Forum: VOW Roleplaying
Thread: One Beast in the locker room
Post by: beggar(46408)
2006-12-14 22:42:31
A retired wrestler is hanging about in the locker room. Many of the current wrestlers know him well ... he's one of the guys who teaches wrestlers new moves.

Suddenly, one of the lockers bursts open and out comes Beasty. He runs around blindly with flanel underwear over his head until Dyna Mike Duncan mercifully clotheslines him to the ground.

"Thank Duncan", beast hollers while removing the underwear.
Then, the massive moron turns his attention to the old wrestler.
"Beasty have green papers," he screams, showing a handsome stack of dolar bills, "teach beasty new move!!!"

With other wrestlers, the old timers just gets into a training ring and shows them ... but that never seems to work when beasty is involved. So he gets out a lentil cookie on a string and starts waving it about in front of the irradiated imbecile.
"You're getting drunk, you're about to pass out, you had many many bottles of pina colada ..."
Beasty follows the cookie and suddenly collapses (and being true to form, he of course collapses head first into the bosom of a VOW-girl). A smell of partially digested pina colada spreads through the locker room.
"Good God!" the old man gasps, clutching his nose, "Beast, you got drunk on wodka in stead."
instantly, the slightly less repugnant smell of partially digested wodka starts to spread.
"Right, ok, better ..." the geezer said, "Beasty, you now know the back heel trip."
In a booming voice, Beasty murmers, "Beasty know back eal ... black heel ... black steel strip ... Beasty know what old man said."
"Good, You'll wake up at the count of three, one, two, "

And the one man horde from the east wakes up.

"I said 'Three'!"

"Beasty be sorry, beasty no count higher then two!!!", the idiot from Ejmiatsin calls out, while back heel tripping the nearest LAW.
Elated at his new skill, Beasty storms around the locker room, headbutting every locker.
He grabs the old man and firmly kisses him on the mouth ... in a manly fashion of course.
"Teach Beasty more!!! Beasty got more green stuff," He says while rummaging through his beard. He pulls a bag out of the beard, inside are a drunk goat, the coach from the pygmee basketball team that's living inside the beard and loads and loads of crumpled up one dollar bills.

"There's nothing more I can teach you Beasty! You know every move there is!" the old man shouts, after rincing his mouth with an industrial strenght cleaning agent.

"No true! Beasty no tie shoe laces!" Beasty objects, presenting his boots as proof ... the laces have been stapled in place.

"That's not a wrestling move, Beast."

"ooh, ooh, Beasty got one ... Beasty no know how to get female girl in bed!"

"And what would you do once you get her in bed?"

"erm ... erm ... oooooh ... erm ... aaaah ... erm ... oh, beasty know ... hide and seek!!!"

Under his breath the ancient one (no, not Squiddy) says, "That's one way of calling it."

"Beasty know chokeslam?"

"That's the first I thaught you!"

"Back Rake?"

"Done that"

"Inverted South Ossatian Hair Pin?"

"There's no such move!!!"
"Look, Beast, You know everything there is to know about wrestling, deal with it ... and never kiss me again!"

"WOW, Beasty know every move!!!" Elated, Beasty stuffs the bag (minus the goat ... that wondered off) back into the beard and storms off, flattening some noob and his 6 staff members.
"Heresy," The Beast from the east screams, "Beasty know all moves!!! lady of rocks!!! Queen of ducks!!! Beasty know all!!!"

Figure I'm gonna stick around for a month or so and then go legend. A beard sized "thanks" to all those wonderfull people who've always accepted my challenges.
And of course to Wolvie and Douggie for making the game in the first place!!! don't listen to all the nay sayers guys, it's a kick ass game!
Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2006-12-15 01:24:56
someone saying "nah"?
Post by: Bret Hart(73101)
2006-12-19 04:29:27
Well Beast, I just hope you don't leave the game completely after you join the legend's list. As you know I believe that you're already a legend without being on the list. :)

Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2006-12-19 07:09:11
oh, how sweet ;)
Post by: Syrjis(80123)
2006-12-20 07:14:41
*chucks a motelroomkey at Benoit*
Post by: tanya_r80(100278)
2006-12-21 11:38:55
Heresy stared into the great portal. on one side it appeared to be nothing more than a list. But for those who dared cross threw the list it was much more. Leaveing behind only a name.

"It's been a long journey old friend." She sighed stareing threw what appeared to be a magik mirror. "When you become new again many more adventures await you." shaking her head she set down a large wraped box with an even larger bow attached to it. SHe leaned down and wrote neatly on the side: FOR BEASTY ONLY!
Post by: denzil(82151)
2006-12-21 11:57:31
So as Hellspawn looks into the near future he sees a new life coming his way as Beasty swaggers off into the portal location.

Post by: suepahfly(59692)
2006-12-22 00:41:22
suepahfly waves byebye
Post by: lazy(27024)
2007-01-16 14:56:34
Specialize the Dragon Screw.
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