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Forum: VOW Roleplaying
Thread: Beast be MAD!!!
Post by: beggar(46408)
2006-02-16 20:54:54
"Beast be MAD", the Armenian Beast bellows as he storms into the VOW tech room, utterly annihilating the poor defenceless door.
Several of the tech guys have had previous dealings with the Beast and they wisely storm out of the room screaming like little girls who have just discovered a grumpy looking spider in their dolls house.
The massive moron stampedes over to Frank from the tech department and lifts him in the air. "Beast be very mad", he roars.

Frank clears his throath and replies in neutered choir boy voice, "And why would that be Mr. Beast?"
Beast stares at Frank blankly ... after a few seconds (as in 57) he finally says in a more or less normal voice, "oh, Beast remember". Then he continues in his we-re-being-raided-by-vikings voice, "EEEEEEVIL Russians! Russians cut gas to Armenia!"
(please note at this point that the Beast is begining to clue in to the fact that the Soviet Union is no more)
"Now mom of Beast be cold", the Beast hollers.

"That's awfull, Mr Beast", Frank says, "but what can we do about it?"

The irradiated imbecile again stares for a few seconds (as in 57 ... yes, again) and then raves on, "Beast no want time music no more."

"Theme music?" Frank tries.

"Yes, that too, Beast no want no more!" and he dumps Frank at a desk ... a desk without a computer of course so Frank has to get up and sneak over to the nearest computer.

Frank calls up the Theme Music roster and asks, "So you don't want Moskau by Rammstein anymore?"

The instant Frank utters 'Moskau', The Armenian disaster area jams his fingers in his ears and starts singing, "Beast be little teapot", interrupted by the occasinal cry of "Beast no can hear!"
After a few seconds of this (as in 57, hey, at least he's consistent!) The Beast jams a CD in Franks hands.
"It be track one," Beast says.

Frank plays track one and hear ... "Beast be little teapot".
"Erm, Mr Beast, do you really want this as your theme music?"

"Nonononono!" The Beast yells, "it be track ... erm ... track ... other then one."

"Track two?"

"Yes, that be what Beast say, track other then one."

Frank plays track two and what comes out is a slightly edited version of Number of the Beast, by Iron Maiden.
Instead of the usual intro, it goes "Woe to you, Let him who have understanding recon the number of the Beast"

"That be it," Beast proudly proclaims, still tring to get his finger out of his left ear.

"Ok," Frank says, "I'll set it up."

Beast grabs Frank and pulls him close. Meanwhile Heresy walks by, sees Beast with his finger stuck in his ear, shakes her head muttering "not AGAIN, Beasty." and proceeds to dislodge his finger.
Beast whispers to Frank (at about 97 decibels) "And Tech guy better not play other song no more ... or Beast be back ... and then Beast bring ... STALE LENTILS!"

Though unsure what threat stale lentils exactly pose, Frank is never the less duely impressed.
"We won't forget, Mr Beast."

Satisfied, Beast charges out of the room, all the while wondering how he got his finger out of his ear.

At the Beasts next match, the Tech guys of course still play Moskau, leading to the Beast loosing by count out as he chaces several tech guys (and the occasional LAW that got in the way) with a VERY stale plate of lentils.
Post by: smoke(126548)
2006-02-16 23:34:34
*Puts laxatives in Beasts milk bowl*
Post by: lazy(27024)
2006-02-17 06:11:28
Post by: beggar(46408)
2006-02-17 21:07:12
Beast is notorious for loosing easy matches
Post by: undertaker(170470)
2006-02-17 21:50:25
Beast is a sick ffffffffffffffreek
but the dead man lives rst in peace beast
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